Burial or Cremation: Questions to Consider

Burial or cremation is about as personal a choice as you’ll make. There’s no wrong answer. But your family will be grateful if you make the call and write it down.

Why decide ahead of time?

If your family doesn’t know what you want, they have to decide within hours or days, while they’re grieving. Sometimes family members disagree. Sometimes one person feels guilty for years about the choice they made. Deciding now, and telling people, lifts that off their shoulders.

Questions to think through

• Faith: Does your faith tradition have teachings or customs about burial or cremation? Your pastor or faith leader can help.
• Family tradition: Is there a family cemetery or plot? Would your family want a place to visit?
• The service: Would you like a viewing, a funeral, a memorial service, or a graveside service? (Many of these are possible with either choice.)
• Cost: What fits your budget, and how will it be paid for?
• Location: Do you want to be buried near a spouse or in a hometown far away?
• Personal preference: Simply, what feels right to you?

Burial: what’s involved

A traditional burial may include a funeral home’s services, preparation of the body, a casket, a viewing and service, a cemetery plot, opening and closing of the grave, and often an outer burial container required by many cemeteries, plus a headstone or marker. Some people choose a simpler “immediate burial” without a viewing.

Cremation: what’s involved

Cremation can come with a full funeral and viewing beforehand, a memorial service afterward, or no service at all (that’s called a “direct cremation”). Afterward, families might keep the urn, place it in a cemetery or columbarium, or scatter the ashes where it’s allowed. One thing to know: under the FTC Funeral Rule, a funeral home that offers cremation has to make an alternative container available. You don’t have to buy a casket for cremation (FTC: The Funeral Rule).

Comparing costs

Funeral costs vary widely by location and provider. The best way to know what you would pay is to ask each funeral home for its itemized General Price List, which the FTC Funeral Rule requires it to provide. Direct cremation or immediate burial without a service generally costs less. Cemetery costs, a monument or marker, and cash-advance items like flowers and obituaries are often separate.

	Burial	Cremation
Viewing and service	Possible	Possible (before or after)
Casket	Usually	Not required; alternative container allowed
Cemetery costs	Plot, opening/closing, often a vault, marker	Optional (niche, plot, or scattering)
A place to visit	Yes	If ashes are placed in a cemetery or columbarium
Typical cost	Generally higher	Generally lower

Things people often overlook

• Who has the legal right to make the decision. State laws set an order, and that's one reason clear written wishes help
• Whether your cemetery requires an outer burial container
• Rules about where ashes can be scattered
• Military or veterans’ burial benefits, if you served
• Whether family members can travel for a service

Write it down and pay for it

Once you decide, record it on a Final Wishes Worksheet or in the Gavrel Family Planning Kit, and tell the person who will carry it out. If you want something legally binding, talk to an attorney about the documents your state uses.

Then think about how it will be paid for. Savings, a preneed plan, or a final expense insurance policy are common ways families plan. Coverage and pricing vary by age, health, state, and carrier.

Green and other options

Some families are interested in “green” or natural burial, which typically avoids embalming and uses a simple, biodegradable casket or shroud in a cemetery that allows it. Others choose body donation to a medical school. Availability and rules vary by state and provider, so ask locally if these interest you.

Talk it over with your family

Even if the decision is yours, tell your family why. Hearing your reasons can help them accept it and carry it out with confidence. If somebody feels strongly the other way, listen to them. Then put your wishes in writing so there’s no question later. Our article How to Talk to Your Family About Final Wishes has tips for starting that conversation.

Shop and compare

Whichever you choose, it’s wise to compare at least two funeral homes and ask for their General Price Lists. See How to Shop for Funeral Homes for a checklist of questions.

If you’d like to talk through how to cover the cost of what you choose, I’m glad to help. Just give me a call.

This article is for general educational purposes only and is not legal, tax, or financial advice. Coverage, pricing, and availability vary by age, health, state, and carrier.

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